January 2011
1 post
What's the difference between oral sex and anal...
Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your whole week.
October 2010
3 posts
A guy got sacked from his job at the bumper cars.
He’s taking his employers to court. Trying to claim funfair dismissal.
where do hamsters come from?
Hamsterdam
how do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
open the door, take the elephant out, and put the giraffe in.
September 2010
3 posts
My cousin used to have phone sex all the time
until he got hearing aids.
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says “For you, no charge.”
August 2010
2 posts
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
One day a butcher backed into a meat grinder
and got a little behind in his work.
July 2010
1 post
how do you find a blind man in a roomful of naked...
it’s not hard.
June 2010
1 post
Those who get too big for their britches
will be exposed in the end.
May 2010
1 post
She was only a whiskey maker
but he loved her still.
April 2010
1 post
No matter how much you push the envelope
it’ll still be stationery.
March 2010
3 posts
Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to...
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was...
They charged one and let the other one off.
November 2009
1 post
what has more lives than a cat?
a frog. it croaks every night.
September 2009
1 post
how do cattle do maths?
with a cow-culator
August 2009
7 posts
how do you put an elephant in the fridge?
open the door and put it in
what's yellow and really dangerous?
shark-infested custard
Why can't Chinese people have erections?
Because it’s a communist country.
what do you get if you cross a cat with a barrel...
a sour puss
when's the best time to see the dentist?
2:30
What's big, grey and doesn't matter?
An irr-elephant
did you hear about the man who fell down a big...
well…
July 2009
10 posts
what's grey and sits in the middle of a field?
a filing cabinet.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
what's brown and sticky?
shit and peanut butter
what's brown and sticky?
a stick
Why did the policeman fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a toaster at him.
Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a...
I hate Bounty Hunters.
what's yellow and hides in the hills of...
The talibanana.
what is orange and doesn't sound like a parrot
a goldfish
why did the plane crash into a mountain?
because the pilot was a loaf of bread
what is orange and sounds like a parrot?
a carrot