the stupidest, shittest jokes i've ever loved

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your whole week.

A guy got sacked from his job at the bumper cars.

He’s taking his employers to court. Trying to claim funfair dismissal.

where do hamsters come from?

Hamsterdam

how do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

open the door, take the elephant out, and put the giraffe in.

My cousin used to have phone sex all the time

until he got hearing aids.

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says “For you, no charge.”

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”

Helium doesn’t react.

One day a butcher backed into a meat grinder

and got a little behind in his work.

how do you find a blind man in a roomful of naked models?

it’s not hard.